It has been quite a while since I’ve last posted. I promise I am coming back! My life has been a whirlwind of emotions and I’m not sure how to think straight just yet. I keep thinking life will slow down just enough to process and breath, but … no. I’m just going to have to buckle down and have joy in my trials.

For those of you who do not know, my grandmother passed away. Not only three months ago she was working part-time at the library, cooking family dinners, doing her daily cross-word puzzles, and trying to convince dad to let her play tennis and drive at her ripe age of 77. Then, out of nowhere we began to watch her health slip away. It appeared to be a slow progression of stroke symptoms. We kept her at home with the help of  Amedysis, then took her to The Coliseum’s Stroke Rehabilitation Center. Two weeks in she was transferred to Church Home Care and Rehab in Perry, Georgia. Though the staff of therapists, nurses, and doctors at each location were wonderful, the symptoms continued to grow worse.

jackie-and-meDuring a trip to the Houston Medical ER for swallowing issues, a Neurologist diagnosed her almost immediately with a brain tumor. With a few more tests, we found that she had a 2″x3″ Glioblastoma, a very aggressive, almost always malignant brain tumor. With barely any time for that to soak in, we got to take her home and keep her comfortable for her last few days with us. She passed two days later peacefully and surrounded by all of her loved ones. It was exactly how she would have wanted it. She may not have been coherent in body, but her spirit held on until we were all there beside her, cat and dog included.

It has been incredibly hard on us all. It was so unexpected and happened so quickly that it still feels surreal. I’m glad she is in a better place. And I know I am so extremely blessed to have had such a wonderful, godly woman to help guide me through this life. I’m also thankful for the support of the community and that I have a close-knit, loving family for support. Perhaps I’ll be able to post more about my Jackie later, but that’s another story for another day.

On top of all of that my guy and I recently split. I suppose sometimes you need more in common than Jesus and Panda Express. I say that lightly and with only love and respect towards him.  He is such a wonderful man with a great Christian family and I will miss them all terribly. I am so, so glad he got to be a part of my story and hope that we can stay in touch in the future. We were simply too different. And that is okay. That is life. God has much bigger plans for the both of us. It will be okay. All okay. One day.

But with that said. I’m dealing with a lot right now. I’m stressed out. so. stressed. out. It has been really hard to stay motivated in the ‘bettering one’s self’ department when you don’t even know which way is up or what day of the week it is. I’m just going to dive into the Word and hold on to God and my support system til the wind and waves calm down.

If you are going through a rough time and don’t see a way out or feel lost and hopeless, I recommend checking out North Point’s series In the Meantime. It really helped my family and I realign our focus. What do you do when there is nothing you can do? Our goal here in life is to bring glory to God- no matter the circumstance. He is always in control. We’re in good hands, and I don’t mean car insurance. Jackie let God’s love shine through her generosity and love her entire life. She touched so many. I pray to be at least half the woman she was.

For now I’m going to fill my time with friends, family, and fun activities to lift my spirits. Fall presents plenty of positive distractions. I promise I’ll get back on track soon with the posting. Until then,

Intentionally yours,

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